Who Asked For Your Opinion: Part II

Since my last blog post “Who Asked For Your Opinion” the word “opinion” has been mentioned at home and work!  You’ve asked for specific examples.  So, I’m going to give you what you want!  Whenever, the word opinion is used the preceding words AREN’T “thank you for your” it’s more like “who ASKED for your”.

I have so much to say…

I believe that you can say just about anything you want to anyone if it’s said in the right opinion05302017moment and tone! When I was ten or younger. My mother asked me why to do I talk so much and I responded, “because I have so much to say” and I do.  At 36 not too much has changed!  However, my approach has.  I’ve learned to have tact and read the room before responding. Now, with that being said I’ve said some inappropriate things to the wrong people at the wrong time. Some of things I’ve said have been very offensive and I’m a little embarrassed about it.  There’s no way I can possible detail all of the unwarranted comments I’ve made all in the name of “it just my opinion”. I’ll share a couple…

Say What?

I worked in Retail a few years back I was like 22 & 23 and my Manager was a few years older than myself. She was cool and a lot of fun! One day she did or said something that I thought was ridiculous and I told her she was so juvenile. I didn’t think it was a big thing until a few months later I  requested to change my hours/raise etc. and she mentioned that I called her immature, I corrected her and reminded her that I said she was juvenile and not immature. Needless to say things didn’t work out in my favor.

Another time I was at my friend’s place and she had a new sofa and I asked her “where’d you get this lil ugly thang”? she told me where… and that was that. A few months later my friend and I were hanging out with my co-worker who mentioned something about me and my “opinions’ and the two of them shared various times I’ve volunteered my opinion.  I had an old friend and new friend swapping stories…it was bad!  These were really innocent in comparison to some of other things I’ve said in other relationships.

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Sorry Guys…

I’ve made a lot of reckless comments in my twenties and beyond… my intentions weren’t intended to be mean. I just thought my opinion really mattered.

Some of the relationships in your life you have to use kid gloves and that’s ok. However, we all have relationships where you can be honest and real. Sometimes the people closes to you can’t handle the way in which you give your opinion. You have to have someone you’re accountable to…there should be someone that’s able to be real and raw with you, without you overacting. People don’t like to feel belittled, attacked or rejected. Sometimes, it’s best to sit back and listen.  I’ve learned to pray about certain things before giving my opinion.

If your friend is trying to squeeze in a pair of shoes and you can see their feet is bleeding, I think it safe for you to give your opinion.  Now if the shoes fit and you don’t like what they look like…who cares who asked you your opinion?

Hint Hint—> A. Wayne 🙂

Until next time…

 

Is Suburban Living Overrated?

I spent two years of commuting from North Saint Louis County to Downtown St. Louis , for work . I was driving more than twenty minutes each way for work and my son’s school. The two of us were living in a 2 bedroom rental. It was a cute little 2 bedroom house.  I had the luxury of having a driveway a designated office space and the convenience of having an laundry area in the basement!  It was nice, plenty of space, but a not so great neighborhood!  We needed a change and I grew up near the Downtown area, so it didn’t take long for me to make a decision to move back to familiar territory. This journey was a little different because I was losing a lot of space and privacy. But, I decided to make the the jump and we moved  into a two bedroom apartment right in the heart of Downtown St. Louis, there is so much history and everything is right outside my door! I can walk to work, restaurants, shopping etc.

 My son’s school  is a  less than a mile from our house.  We went from our rental to sharing a 1 laundry room that serves 90 units!  Don’t get my wrong there have been sacrifices. The driveway is now a distant fantasy and I  pay for parking in an underground garage. Climbing three flights of stairs with groceries can be a challenge but also a great way to get into shape. I knew my son would be losing out on being able to go out and play in a “traditional” neighborhood but he loves it and he attends the Boys and Girls Club .  There is so much diversity in the city, culturally, racially and economically. I want him to be prepared for the real world and be able to be around people who are different from himself without compromising his convictions. He has a long life ahead of him and so do I!

Until next time…

I Found Myself Again…

Setting and obtaining goals challenges us and changes our perception on life and others around us. We live in a society where people like to survey, conclude and speculate in order to form a conclusion on who they think that we are.

Life is a personal journey. You can share the same experiences with someone and have totally different perceptions. Our culture, education, social economic status etc. shape our perceptions. Life is tough, regardless of your financial success. Let’s say while working at balancing life and family you meet someone or something that triggers an interst that you buried inside yourself.

(It could be an interest in being a musician, learning a foreign language in the country of origin or leaning to fly a plane).

This encounter immediately changed you for the better. Now you can’t stop thinking about it and you’re determined to pursue or recconect to the interst. See the thing is…this interst is such a big part of who you’re suppose to be but no one knows or just can’t remember, they’ve already formed a conclusion on how they think you are. The truth is you forgot and now are too excited to turn away. It’s like you were asleep for a long time and now you’re finally awake. I know, I know, that you have responsiblites and obligations and now you’re questioning your ablities. You want to tell people but they may not get it and then you have run the risk of feeling rejected. So you give them what they want, you give them the outdated version of yourself and you hide all the updates. The difference between now and then is, you’ve experienced some things you have some hard times and you’ve had had some really good times. Your approach is different. You can’t go back now. You’ve been revived. So now you have to…

Check out part II

Until next time…

Press Through

I haven’t blogged in a really long time and with all of the things happening in the US, there’s plenty to talk about. I have so many things to share, but I will keep it simple and focus on what’s been pressing at my heart.

I spent time with a really good friend of mine this weekend and we were talking about life, faith, family and community. She said something that really resonated with me…she said, “we need to turn our pain into purpose”. She’s right! With all the crime, racial and political division, depression, poverty etc. it is easy to get caught up in the hype of it all. We’re so focused on the presidential campaign that we’re forgetting people are still without basic needs, food, shelter, clothing.

This has been a really emotional year for me. With all of the many challenges I’ve faced this year such as; someone breaking into my home and struggling to replace the things that were stolen from my family. My eleven year old is now too afraid to sleep in his room or live in the house. The good thing is we live in a rental and the lease will be up next month. It’s been hard to pull up in front of a house that was vandalized and call it home. I wanted to break my lease and run away I felt so violated but, I had to press through and encourage my son when I needed someone to encourage me. Some of the people at work were shocked when I told them about the robbery because I kept smiling and coming in to work. You have to press through the bad days in order to get to the good days.

We all have something that we’re struggling with. We must move forward and redirect our focus from our pain and turn into something purposeful. Participate in a cause or group that shares your same life mission. Help others to overcome their fears and challenges. Start a group or a club with other like minded people. Do whatever it takes to start feeling better about life. Someone needs to know your story because it will give them hope and empower them to be free.

Until next time…