It’s ok to spend time alone. In fact I think it’s healthy to enjoy your own company and have things that you do for yourself.
I need my downtime because my mind is always busy and sometimes I want to dummy down and watch some of my favorite shows. However, you must be mindful of what you entertain yourself with. The goal is to be a better version of yourself and not get boggled down by the waywardness of the world.
Don’t be afraid and don’t live in fear. Take a chance to do something that you find difficult but will empower you in the end!
I had a chance to sit down and catch up with Melonie of Fit Diva and she had a lot to say about balancing all the many roles that she plays.
“How do I manage being a wife, mom, work and enturpurnuership? Honestly this was a very hard question to unpack because, like most women majority of the time I feel like I’m failing at them all. As I grow im learning to celebrate myself more and that includes really digging deep to aknowlage I’m actually winning NOT failing at all of the hats I wear.
The best words I can use to say HOW are “FOUNDATION” AND SEASONS. I have lived to learn how to KEEP my FAITH & FAMILIES as the FOUNDATION of my roles and let everything else become important or priority over the other in its own season. I have learned how to make every role in my life work for each other in the right season. In this seasons I need my 9 to 5 to fund the vision that drives my business.
This KEEPS me super focused and determined to soak up as many tools and skills and foster good relationships from corporate America to apply to Fit Diva. Now don’t get me wrong things do fall through the cracks and some things go in lack from time to time but those times have taught me how to step back and take breaks so that I can re- assess my priorities.
When I feel like I am spinning out of control I pause and plug into my life sources. I ask for clarity from GOD and comfort from my husband and kids. These are some of the tools and concepts I apply to change the naritve of NOT being a FAILURE but a consistant SUCCESS at all of the things I have been called to do IN THEIR RIGHTFUL SEASONS”!
I can totally relate to Melonie’s message about seasons and finding balance to pursue the things God has predestined you to do!
I decided in 2020 to be open about my mental health disorder: Bipolar Disorder.
I recently took on a second seasonal job for the holiday. I was overly excited (manic) I was like a little kid running around excited on Christmas morning. I really enjoyed the IDEA of having the job. I worked at a retail store that I shopped frequently prior to being an employee. I specifically wanted to work this home decor store. I provided my availability and they gave me just that! My managers were cool my co-workers instantly became like a little family even the customers were cool!
After a couple weeks of working the commute the scheduling everything became too much. The job felt like a burden! I also made adjustments to my meds so my emotions were all over the place I didn’t know if I wanted to sing a joyous hymn or ball up and cry in my bed all day. Getting up in the mornings to start my regular work day took all the energy and prayers I could muster up at 6 am.
I know how to fake it until I’m up again! That’s what I’ve always done! Having a Bipolar disorder means you have extreme highs known as manic episodes and you have lows. A manic episode can lead you on a flight out of the country to “find yourself” without a dollar in your account to fund the rest of the trip.
And when you’re low you sometimes can’t move out the bed. It’s not a completely hopeless situation because there’s meds that keep you balance! But when you make changes to your meds in the middle of a lifestyle change such as getting a new job or a second job etc it can be overwhelming! It can feel like the wind has been knocked out of you!
It was Saturday morning and I had to be at work that afternoon I laid in bed all morning like I was paralyzed. The mere idea of getting dressed and having to talk to people all day was just too much.
I didn’t even have the energy to call off. I promised myself I would do it later in the evening. My manager called twice and left very concerned messages and there I laid almost 40 and I was hiding under the covers. I just couldn’t handle explaining what was happening and I felt so guilty!
I believe she would’ve truly understood. But it was too much for me at the time! I tried to find an email or some way to communicate privately what was happening! I don’t mind sharing but sometimes it’s hard to introduce your real self to people! It’s been a week today and I’m back to somewhat of some normalcy and preparing for Christmas!
I’ll see you guys in 2020. Happy holidays to all and to all a good night!
Since my last blog post “Who Asked For Your Opinion” the word “opinion” has been mentioned at home and work! You’ve asked for specific examples. So, I’m going to give you what you want! Whenever, the word opinion is used the preceding words AREN’T “thank you for your” it’s more like “who ASKED for your”.
I have so much to say…
I believe that you can say just about anything you want to anyone if it’s said in the right moment and tone! When I was ten or younger. My mother asked me why to do I talk so much and I responded, “because I have so much to say” and I do. At 36 not too much has changed! However, my approach has. I’ve learned to have tact and read the room before responding. Now, with that being said I’ve said some inappropriate things to the wrong people at the wrong time. Some of things I’ve said have been very offensive and I’m a little embarrassed about it. There’s no way I can possible detail all of the unwarranted comments I’ve made all in the name of “it just my opinion”. I’ll share a couple…
I worked in Retail a few years back I was like 22 & 23 and my Manager was a few years older than myself. She was cool and a lot of fun! One day she did or said something that I thought was ridiculous and I told her she was so juvenile. I didn’t think it was a big thing until a few months later I requested to change my hours/raise etc. and she mentioned that I called her immature, I corrected her and reminded her that I said she was juvenile and not immature. Needless to say things didn’t work out in my favor.
Another time I was at my friend’s place and she had a new sofa and I asked her “where’d you get this lil ugly thang”? she told me where… and that was that. A few months later my friend and I were hanging out with my co-worker who mentioned something about me and my “opinions’ and the two of them shared various times I’ve volunteered my opinion. I had an old friend and new friend swapping stories…it was bad! These were really innocent in comparison to some of other things I’ve said in other relationships.
I’ve made a lot of reckless comments in my twenties and beyond… my intentions weren’t intended to be mean. I just thought my opinion really mattered.
Some of the relationships in your life you have to use kid gloves and that’s ok. However, we all have relationships where you can be honest and real. Sometimes the people closes to you can’t handle the way in which you give your opinion. You have to have someone you’re accountable to…there should be someone that’s able to be real and raw with you, without you overacting. People don’t like to feel belittled, attacked or rejected. Sometimes, it’s best to sit back and listen. I’ve learned to pray about certain things before giving my opinion.
If your friend is trying to squeeze in a pair of shoes and you can see their feet is bleeding, I think it safe for you to give your opinion. Now if the shoes fit and you don’t like what they look like…who cares who asked you your opinion?
I’ve had moments where I’ve tapped out and I’m standing over myself and I’m observing the relationships around me, my finances, my job, the amount of weight I’ve gained. It only last for about sixty seconds but sixty seconds is a long enough to see all the mistakes you’ve made. It’s really a strange thing totry to explain. After these “encounters” with myself I always get really excited about changing my life and getting back to doing things I used to enjoy before I was boggled down with all my responsibilities.
A few months ago, I decided no more playing it safe and Ireenrolledin school. Going back to school wasn’t the challenge. It was returning to my initial majorMass Communications. I was reluctant because I felt like I’m too old totry to start again! I figured I’d try somethings on my own without having to attend class and be responsible for assignments. Besides I’m way too busy with work, parenting, entrepreneurship etc. and the thought of adding something new was overwhelming. But sometimes you must go back to the basics… go back to doing the things you love to reconnect with your purpose.
I had this blog and I had neglected it for a long time. I really wanted to use it to hopefully encourage people but I left it abandoned and almost forgotten about. I eventually decided to return to school for Mass Communications and I enrolled in Convergence Media which is basically aMultimedia/Digital Story Telling class and the first thing we were required to do is open a Word Press blog. Eureka!
This is what I wanted right?! I was responsible for posting a new blog each week. Which was good because It was making me discipline however, it was challenging at times to keep up the weekly posts. Yes, I was one of the oldest people in the class and there were times I had to ask the same questions 3 or 4 times to make sure I understood. Now that class has ended I will continue with my weekly blog post and I will be taking more Mass Communication courses. So, my words of wisdom are…stay the course and go back to the basics.