The Beauty Of Black Women

Playing Dress Up

Most little girls play dress up and put on their mother’s heels, make up and like to feel like a princess. All our story books are filled with stories of romance. The sweet innocent princess is rescued by the handsome charming prince. As the story goes, Snow White  was under a spell and it took “true loves kiss” to wake her! As children, we think romance and beauty is what we see on tv. A fair skin young lady is seen as beautiful and women of color are portrayed as sassy.  When I was younger I remember seeing black women dancing around in videos in a very sexual way. The music was vulgar and the women appeared aggressive. Fast forward twenty something years later and not too much has changed. Black women are seen as aggressive and are unappreciated.

As a kid I thought beauty was fashion and makeup. I never considered the complexion of someone’s skin, social economic status etc as beauty. If your dress was nice and handbag was pretty I thought that that was beauty. As an adult I see beauty in everything. I see beauty in nature and in art! I want to know how other black women feel about beauty and how black women are perceived in society.  I decided to sit with Brandi Turner to get her take on beauty.

The Many Images of Black Women

As Brandi mentioned there are many different shades of black women. Which is a good thing! This idea that lighter skin black women are somehow more attractive than darker skin black women is a LIE! The lie continues to live because of how black women are portrayed in society and media. Remember the story of Snow White she was seen as sweet and innocent and needed to be rescued. She spoke softly and had fair skin. There are women that are that way, however, when you’re not why are you seen as loud, angry or obnoxious?  As black women society tends to go a step further and if we don’t take on that image we are seen as aggressive, rebellious and angry!

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I was raised by a single mother and I’m now a single parent. Obviously, no one plans to be a single parent, however, things happen.  There are fewer black women married than any other race.  Black men are more likely to date outside their race.

We’re not all single mothers there are plenty of successful black married couples. Meet Tamica Webb, she has been married to Peter for almost five years they have one son and a week ago she graduated from Columbia College and she’s’ my younger cousin!  Tamica and I sat down and talked about her perception of beauty as a black woman.

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Society plays a major role in the way we view beauty! I see beauty in everything. It’s so much more than the outer appearance of person. I’m so bored with videos, movies and all the images around us that try to push their beauty standards on to us.

You never see a full-figured women as the love interest in a movie as if full figured women aren’t being pursued! Why does the blonde have to play dumb?  Stop buying into the hype. I’m over it! I love beauty and fashion just like the next person but I buy what I like and if what I like just so happens to be on trend…well that’s even better!

I Ghosted My Job!

I decided in 2020 to be open about my mental health disorder: Bipolar Disorder.

I recently took on a second seasonal job for the holiday. I was overly excited (manic) I was like a little kid running around excited on Christmas morning. I really enjoyed the IDEA of having the job. I worked at a retail store that I shopped frequently prior to being an employee. I specifically wanted to work this home decor store. I provided my availability and they gave me just that! My managers were cool my co-workers instantly became like a little family even the customers were cool!

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Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

After a couple weeks of working the commute the scheduling everything became too much. The job felt like a burden!
I also made adjustments to my meds so my emotions were all over the place I didn’t know if I wanted to sing a joyous hymn or ball up and cry in my bed all day. Getting up in the mornings to start my regular work day took all the energy and prayers I could muster up at 6 am.

I know how to fake it until I’m up again! That’s what I’ve always done! Having a Bipolar disorder means you have extreme highs known as manic episodes and you have lows. A manic episode can lead you on a flight out of the country to “find yourself” without a dollar in your account to fund the rest of the trip.

And when you’re low you sometimes can’t move out the bed. It’s not a completely hopeless situation because there’s meds that keep you balance! But when you make changes to your meds in the middle of a lifestyle change such as getting a new job or a second job etc it can be overwhelming! It can feel like the wind has been knocked out of you!

It was Saturday morning and I had to be at work that afternoon I laid in bed all morning like I was paralyzed. The mere idea of getting dressed and having to talk to people all day was just too much.

I didn’t even have the energy to call off. I promised myself I would do it later in the evening. My manager called twice and left very concerned messages and there I laid almost 40 and I was hiding under the covers. I just couldn’t handle explaining what was happening and I felt so guilty!

I believe she would’ve truly understood. But it was too much for me at the time! I tried to find an email or some way to communicate privately what was happening! I don’t mind sharing but sometimes it’s hard to introduce your real self to people! It’s been a week today and I’m back to somewhat of some normalcy and preparing for Christmas!

I’ll see you guys in 2020. Happy holidays to all and to all a good night!

Until next time…

Beauty: Men vs Women

Hi guys. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts on beauty from both a male and  female perspective. Obviously, I’m not a man it it’s just my take… based on my personal experiences with men. In the future I really want to talk a little more on this topic.

Drop some comments… I want to know what you guys think about this post.

*Disclaimer*

I rambled a lit bit, but I’m confident you’ll enjoy it!

 

Until next time…

Who Asked For Your Opinion: Part II

Since my last blog post “Who Asked For Your Opinion” the word “opinion” has been mentioned at home and work!  You’ve asked for specific examples.  So, I’m going to give you what you want!  Whenever, the word opinion is used the preceding words AREN’T “thank you for your” it’s more like “who ASKED for your”.

I have so much to say…

I believe that you can say just about anything you want to anyone if it’s said in the right opinion05302017moment and tone! When I was ten or younger. My mother asked me why to do I talk so much and I responded, “because I have so much to say” and I do.  At 36 not too much has changed!  However, my approach has.  I’ve learned to have tact and read the room before responding. Now, with that being said I’ve said some inappropriate things to the wrong people at the wrong time. Some of things I’ve said have been very offensive and I’m a little embarrassed about it.  There’s no way I can possible detail all of the unwarranted comments I’ve made all in the name of “it just my opinion”. I’ll share a couple…

Say What?

I worked in Retail a few years back I was like 22 & 23 and my Manager was a few years older than myself. She was cool and a lot of fun! One day she did or said something that I thought was ridiculous and I told her she was so juvenile. I didn’t think it was a big thing until a few months later I  requested to change my hours/raise etc. and she mentioned that I called her immature, I corrected her and reminded her that I said she was juvenile and not immature. Needless to say things didn’t work out in my favor.

Another time I was at my friend’s place and she had a new sofa and I asked her “where’d you get this lil ugly thang”? she told me where… and that was that. A few months later my friend and I were hanging out with my co-worker who mentioned something about me and my “opinions’ and the two of them shared various times I’ve volunteered my opinion.  I had an old friend and new friend swapping stories…it was bad!  These were really innocent in comparison to some of other things I’ve said in other relationships.

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Sorry Guys…

I’ve made a lot of reckless comments in my twenties and beyond… my intentions weren’t intended to be mean. I just thought my opinion really mattered.

Some of the relationships in your life you have to use kid gloves and that’s ok. However, we all have relationships where you can be honest and real. Sometimes the people closes to you can’t handle the way in which you give your opinion. You have to have someone you’re accountable to…there should be someone that’s able to be real and raw with you, without you overacting. People don’t like to feel belittled, attacked or rejected. Sometimes, it’s best to sit back and listen.  I’ve learned to pray about certain things before giving my opinion.

If your friend is trying to squeeze in a pair of shoes and you can see their feet is bleeding, I think it safe for you to give your opinion.  Now if the shoes fit and you don’t like what they look like…who cares who asked you your opinion?

Hint Hint—> A. Wayne 🙂

Until next time…

 

What’sThe Obession All About?

There’s so much obsession about weight loss and body image. Everyone wants to lose weight now and most women will go to any lengths to shed the pounds even if risks harming themselves.  The media bombards us with imagery that we can never obtain because it’s not even real! Those images have been altered in some way to keep you always wanting more! We’re always trying to reinvent ourselves, we pluck, we wax, we stretch, the list goes on and on!  If you really want to change how you look start with diet and exercise. There aren’t any short cuts to healthy living. You just work at it every day and if you have a bad day…start again and again until you’ve conquered it.

There are just as many men overweight as there are women. The thing is society doesn’t put as much pressure on men to shed the pounds.  A man can grow out his beard, wears a nice suit and that will mask how society views his obesity. I’m not saying that men don’t struggle with body image because I know that that they do, however, how often do you see beauty ads for men in comparison to women?!

Obesity is a problem in the US for men and women and children.  If you’re like me and you don’t like working out for hours in a gym try going for a run or walk. I’m really trying to put an effort into being more active but I learned that what you eat can be more effective than hitting up the gym a few times a week. 

I’m guilty of over indulging in sweets and spending more time applying makeup and styling my hair than working out! To be honest, I don’t work out at all, but again I do enjoy a nice stroll! So… as I start my new weight loss journey. I have committed myself to changing up my diet, less sugars, more water, you know, the basics. I have a created a fun visualization on obesity and healthy eating using Pikotchart.