Start Fresh Each Day!

The time is now! This is the season to pursue your dreams and to rediscover yourself. Most people are floating through life without purpose. Do you really know who you are and where you’re going? Set a plan, act on it and consider how it may affect your family, faith, finances etc. There’s no one way of doing things, trust your instincts and do your research!

Until next time…

The Beauty Of Black Women

Playing Dress Up

Most little girls play dress up and put on their mother’s heels, make up and like to feel like a princess. All our story books are filled with stories of romance. The sweet innocent princess is rescued by the handsome charming prince. As the story goes, Snow White  was under a spell and it took “true loves kiss” to wake her! As children, we think romance and beauty is what we see on tv. A fair skin young lady is seen as beautiful and women of color are portrayed as sassy.  When I was younger I remember seeing black women dancing around in videos in a very sexual way. The music was vulgar and the women appeared aggressive. Fast forward twenty something years later and not too much has changed. Black women are seen as aggressive and are unappreciated.

As a kid I thought beauty was fashion and makeup. I never considered the complexion of someone’s skin, social economic status etc as beauty. If your dress was nice and handbag was pretty I thought that that was beauty. As an adult I see beauty in everything. I see beauty in nature and in art! I want to know how other black women feel about beauty and how black women are perceived in society.  I decided to sit with Brandi Turner to get her take on beauty.

The Many Images of Black Women

As Brandi mentioned there are many different shades of black women. Which is a good thing! This idea that lighter skin black women are somehow more attractive than darker skin black women is a LIE! The lie continues to live because of how black women are portrayed in society and media. Remember the story of Snow White she was seen as sweet and innocent and needed to be rescued. She spoke softly and had fair skin. There are women that are that way, however, when you’re not why are you seen as loud, angry or obnoxious?  As black women society tends to go a step further and if we don’t take on that image we are seen as aggressive, rebellious and angry!

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I was raised by a single mother and I’m now a single parent. Obviously, no one plans to be a single parent, however, things happen.  There are fewer black women married than any other race.  Black men are more likely to date outside their race.

We’re not all single mothers there are plenty of successful black married couples. Meet Tamica Webb, she has been married to Peter for almost five years they have one son and a week ago she graduated from Columbia College and she’s’ my younger cousin!  Tamica and I sat down and talked about her perception of beauty as a black woman.

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Society plays a major role in the way we view beauty! I see beauty in everything. It’s so much more than the outer appearance of person. I’m so bored with videos, movies and all the images around us that try to push their beauty standards on to us.

You never see a full-figured women as the love interest in a movie as if full figured women aren’t being pursued! Why does the blonde have to play dumb?  Stop buying into the hype. I’m over it! I love beauty and fashion just like the next person but I buy what I like and if what I like just so happens to be on trend…well that’s even better!

I Ghosted My Job!

I decided in 2020 to be open about my mental health disorder: Bipolar Disorder.

I recently took on a second seasonal job for the holiday. I was overly excited (manic) I was like a little kid running around excited on Christmas morning. I really enjoyed the IDEA of having the job. I worked at a retail store that I shopped frequently prior to being an employee. I specifically wanted to work this home decor store. I provided my availability and they gave me just that! My managers were cool my co-workers instantly became like a little family even the customers were cool!

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Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

After a couple weeks of working the commute the scheduling everything became too much. The job felt like a burden!
I also made adjustments to my meds so my emotions were all over the place I didn’t know if I wanted to sing a joyous hymn or ball up and cry in my bed all day. Getting up in the mornings to start my regular work day took all the energy and prayers I could muster up at 6 am.

I know how to fake it until I’m up again! That’s what I’ve always done! Having a Bipolar disorder means you have extreme highs known as manic episodes and you have lows. A manic episode can lead you on a flight out of the country to “find yourself” without a dollar in your account to fund the rest of the trip.

And when you’re low you sometimes can’t move out the bed. It’s not a completely hopeless situation because there’s meds that keep you balance! But when you make changes to your meds in the middle of a lifestyle change such as getting a new job or a second job etc it can be overwhelming! It can feel like the wind has been knocked out of you!

It was Saturday morning and I had to be at work that afternoon I laid in bed all morning like I was paralyzed. The mere idea of getting dressed and having to talk to people all day was just too much.

I didn’t even have the energy to call off. I promised myself I would do it later in the evening. My manager called twice and left very concerned messages and there I laid almost 40 and I was hiding under the covers. I just couldn’t handle explaining what was happening and I felt so guilty!

I believe she would’ve truly understood. But it was too much for me at the time! I tried to find an email or some way to communicate privately what was happening! I don’t mind sharing but sometimes it’s hard to introduce your real self to people! It’s been a week today and I’m back to somewhat of some normalcy and preparing for Christmas!

I’ll see you guys in 2020. Happy holidays to all and to all a good night!

Until next time…

African Immigrants Perception Of African Americans

Relationships can be so complex. We communicate differently, and don’t always understand one another.  We’re all different.  A lot of our differences has to do with our cultures, beliefs and ancestry. America is one big melting pot and immigration has always been a hot topic. Recently there has been a lot of talk about immigrants and deportation, from President Trump. Immigrants come to America to take part in what we sometimes take for granted, the American dream. As Americans we’re quick to give our opinion on immigration, and we forget to consider how immigrants view Americans.  I’ve always wondered what African immigrants think of African-Americans. Seven years ago, I interviewed Mohammad, an African immigrant from Ethiopia, and had a chance to get his view.

The interview takes place in his convenience store.  He is a graduate of Roosevelt High School, and moved to the states between the ages of twelve and fourteen.

 

 

We All Play A Part In Sexual Abuse

Sex is good sex is a blessing, sex is for procreation. Sex is a gift from God. Sex shouldn’t be used to control and overpower someone. It should be consensual.  It’s hard to ignore all the recent sexual allegations in Hollywood and politics. I’m not surprised at all by the accusations. I’ve heard rumors for years about sexual deviants within both industries. Our 42nd President Bill Clinton was accused of making sexual advancements with women who worked for him. Several women came forward  throughout Clinton’s career. One of the most memorable victims was Monica Lewinsky  their scandalous relationship occurred while Clinton was holding office in “The People’s House”. Bill Clinton was later impeachedhed, for multiple charges which included the Lewinnsky scandal.

I remember people (men) joking about how being president of the United States qualifies you to be able to receive fellatio from Monica Leweinsky or any other women of their choosing.  

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Monica Lewinsky

 

Judge Clarence Thomas scandal with Anita Hill also made headline news. In  Junior High we discussed the case and charges. I didn’t understand sexual harassment in the workplace. I understood sexual abuse and her coming forward exposed a very dark reality for many women in the work place.

Bill Cosby “Americas Dad” was alleged to have drugged and sexual assaulted dozens of women. In 2005 he admitted to drugging them with quaalludes in order to have sex. His brand has been tarnished but more importantly I hope his victim’s feelings have been reconciled.

Fast forward to 2016 a recording from several years back was leaked during the presidential campaign. It involved our current President Donald Trump casualing explaining to Billy Bush a Entertainment Reporter how he sexual assaults women and that they allow it because he’s a celebrity. Not too much in the past few thousand years. It’s 2017 and men feel like the have the right to dominate women in that way. Fortunatley,it’s more socially acceptable for the victims to speak out and  there are more platforms that allow both men and women to have a voice and hopefully invoke change.  When I first heard of the Weinstein scandal all I could think about is why didn’t they speak?

These predators are like having a pervy uncle in the family and everyone knows it. There have been rumors in the family for years about his sexual perversion, and yet he keeps being invited to family gathers and your told to avoid him. Everyone turns their head and pretend to not notice his behavior. How do you think that makes the victim feel? They remain silent!

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Terry Crews recently filled a suit against his alleged accuser, Adam Vinet.

I think a lot of  the victims fear becoming blacked balled or shrug it off as not a big deal. Look at Monica Lynskey her career ended before it really had a chance to began. No one has the right to sexually over power you! You should NEVER get used to this type of behavior this is not the role we have to play! The entertainment and political culture is dominated by predators who have power and a position of influence. I understand their fear not to come forward, but it gives the accurses more power to assault others because they think that their getting away with it. It is never too late to speak out against any type of abuse. It’s bigger than your career and remaining a starlet in Hollywood. We all have a responsibility to speak up and to be part of the solution if we want to see change. I think the #metoo campaign has helped a lot of people in and out of Hollywood to share their experiences and make a difference.

Unitl next time…