Tuesday’s Tip

Hi,

It’s ok to spend time alone. In fact I think it’s healthy to enjoy your own company and have things that you do for yourself.

I need my downtime because my mind is always busy and sometimes I want to dummy down and watch some of my favorite shows. However, you must be mindful of what you entertain yourself with. The goal is to be a better version of yourself and not get boggled down by the waywardness of the world.

Don’t be afraid and don’t live in fear. Take a chance to do something that you find difficult but will empower you in the end!

Your voice matters!

Don’t forget to vote this November!!!!

Until next time…

What Season Are you In?

Hi,

I had a chance to sit down and catch up with Melonie of Fit Diva and she had a lot to say about balancing all the many roles that she plays.

“How do I manage being a wife, mom, work and enturpurnuership? Honestly this was a very hard question to unpack because, like most women majority of the time I feel like I’m failing at them all. As I grow im learning to celebrate myself more and that includes really digging deep to aknowlage I’m actually winning NOT failing at all of the hats I wear.

The best words I can use to say HOW are “FOUNDATION” AND SEASONS. I have lived to learn how to KEEP my FAITH & FAMILIES as the FOUNDATION of my roles and let everything else become important or priority over the other in its own season. I have learned how to make every role in my life work for each other in the right season. In this seasons I need my 9 to 5 to fund the vision that drives my business.

This KEEPS me super focused and determined to soak up as many tools and skills and foster good relationships from corporate America to apply to Fit Diva. Now don’t get me wrong things do fall through the cracks and some things go in lack from time to time but those times have taught me how to step back and take breaks so that I can re- assess my priorities.

When I feel like I am spinning out of control I pause and plug into my life sources. I ask for clarity from GOD and comfort from my husband and kids. These are some of the tools and concepts I apply to change the naritve of NOT being a FAILURE but a consistant SUCCESS at all of the things I have been called to do IN THEIR RIGHTFUL SEASONS”!

I can totally relate to Melonie’s message about seasons and finding balance to pursue the things God has predestined you to do!

Until next time…

You’ve Got What You Need

A local hair stylist launched a new product and advertised it on Facebook. So, I visited her booth at a vendor show and I bought a huge bottle of the product, Whisper Whip. 

The owner explained the product could do it all. It was a shampoo, a co-wash, a leave in conditioner, and a moisturizer. I used it as a moisturizer. It was light, didn’t weigh my hair down, and left it feeling great. For years, Whisper Whip was in my rotation for wash days, styling days and every day. My hair is coily, has fine strands, is low porosity and prone to tangle. Because of this I do not wear my hair down. A wash n go hairstyle would mean a life sentence of detangling and I have neither patience nor the time.

It turns out I had what I needed all along. The product was good for everything. And so, it is with our faith walk. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. We have everything we need to reach our God given goals and the courage to use our talents. Believe the creator when He tells us he is everything, El Shaddai. Are you just relying on God in one way? You may be missing out on His love in other areas of your life. Do you think a prosperous, abundant life is for others, but not for you? I thought wash n go styles were not for my hair type. My beliefs about my hair kept me from having a fabulous hairstyle. What beliefs about yourself are keeping you from having a fabulous life? Let God into those areas; he created you and knows what you can do.

* Whisper Whip is a trademarked brand of Healthy Hair Solutions and is in no way affiliated with this blog.*
The results of my hair transformation!
The results of my transformation!

 

The Beauty Of Black Women

Playing Dress Up

Most little girls play dress up and put on their mother’s heels, make up and like to feel like a princess. All our story books are filled with stories of romance. The sweet innocent princess is rescued by the handsome charming prince. As the story goes, Snow White  was under a spell and it took “true loves kiss” to wake her! As children, we think romance and beauty is what we see on tv. A fair skin young lady is seen as beautiful and women of color are portrayed as sassy.  When I was younger I remember seeing black women dancing around in videos in a very sexual way. The music was vulgar and the women appeared aggressive. Fast forward twenty something years later and not too much has changed. Black women are seen as aggressive and are unappreciated.

As a kid I thought beauty was fashion and makeup. I never considered the complexion of someone’s skin, social economic status etc as beauty. If your dress was nice and handbag was pretty I thought that that was beauty. As an adult I see beauty in everything. I see beauty in nature and in art! I want to know how other black women feel about beauty and how black women are perceived in society.  I decided to sit with Brandi Turner to get her take on beauty.

The Many Images of Black Women

As Brandi mentioned there are many different shades of black women. Which is a good thing! This idea that lighter skin black women are somehow more attractive than darker skin black women is a LIE! The lie continues to live because of how black women are portrayed in society and media. Remember the story of Snow White she was seen as sweet and innocent and needed to be rescued. She spoke softly and had fair skin. There are women that are that way, however, when you’re not why are you seen as loud, angry or obnoxious?  As black women society tends to go a step further and if we don’t take on that image we are seen as aggressive, rebellious and angry!

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I was raised by a single mother and I’m now a single parent. Obviously, no one plans to be a single parent, however, things happen.  There are fewer black women married than any other race.  Black men are more likely to date outside their race.

We’re not all single mothers there are plenty of successful black married couples. Meet Tamica Webb, she has been married to Peter for almost five years they have one son and a week ago she graduated from Columbia College and she’s’ my younger cousin!  Tamica and I sat down and talked about her perception of beauty as a black woman.

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Society plays a major role in the way we view beauty! I see beauty in everything. It’s so much more than the outer appearance of person. I’m so bored with videos, movies and all the images around us that try to push their beauty standards on to us.

You never see a full-figured women as the love interest in a movie as if full figured women aren’t being pursued! Why does the blonde have to play dumb?  Stop buying into the hype. I’m over it! I love beauty and fashion just like the next person but I buy what I like and if what I like just so happens to be on trend…well that’s even better!

I Ghosted My Job!

I decided in 2020 to be open about my mental health disorder: Bipolar Disorder.

I recently took on a second seasonal job for the holiday. I was overly excited (manic) I was like a little kid running around excited on Christmas morning. I really enjoyed the IDEA of having the job. I worked at a retail store that I shopped frequently prior to being an employee. I specifically wanted to work this home decor store. I provided my availability and they gave me just that! My managers were cool my co-workers instantly became like a little family even the customers were cool!

christmas tree with baubles
Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

After a couple weeks of working the commute the scheduling everything became too much. The job felt like a burden!
I also made adjustments to my meds so my emotions were all over the place I didn’t know if I wanted to sing a joyous hymn or ball up and cry in my bed all day. Getting up in the mornings to start my regular work day took all the energy and prayers I could muster up at 6 am.

I know how to fake it until I’m up again! That’s what I’ve always done! Having a Bipolar disorder means you have extreme highs known as manic episodes and you have lows. A manic episode can lead you on a flight out of the country to “find yourself” without a dollar in your account to fund the rest of the trip.

And when you’re low you sometimes can’t move out the bed. It’s not a completely hopeless situation because there’s meds that keep you balance! But when you make changes to your meds in the middle of a lifestyle change such as getting a new job or a second job etc it can be overwhelming! It can feel like the wind has been knocked out of you!

It was Saturday morning and I had to be at work that afternoon I laid in bed all morning like I was paralyzed. The mere idea of getting dressed and having to talk to people all day was just too much.

I didn’t even have the energy to call off. I promised myself I would do it later in the evening. My manager called twice and left very concerned messages and there I laid almost 40 and I was hiding under the covers. I just couldn’t handle explaining what was happening and I felt so guilty!

I believe she would’ve truly understood. But it was too much for me at the time! I tried to find an email or some way to communicate privately what was happening! I don’t mind sharing but sometimes it’s hard to introduce your real self to people! It’s been a week today and I’m back to somewhat of some normalcy and preparing for Christmas!

I’ll see you guys in 2020. Happy holidays to all and to all a good night!

Until next time…